Hey.

It's one in the morning on a Tuesday night. My dad's asleep on the couch, snoring. I'm plugged into the Hood Internet's fourth mixtape, trying to dance as silently as possible. I want to eat out of sheer boredom, but I've been snacking all day. I'm full of wanderlust and I want to throw a dance party but I'm afraid no one will come.

I hate not knowing what's wrong with me, in so many respects. Something's up with my health right now, I should find out in the next couple days if waiting doesn't kill me first. I think something's skewed upstairs too. I used to be a brilliant artist. So I was told, anyway. So many things have changed, including my attitude towards change. And people. I've become cynical and complacent about important things I haven't even tried to do or improve. Fuck.

I got a duvet on Sunday night as a belated birthday gift. I was more excited about it than I have been about anything in the past year, approximately. How sad is that?

I'm so sick of being put on the backburner. If I'm not a priority to someone, I don't want to be anything. I've dealt with this exact situation already, it's bullshit, all I honestly ask is that if you can't make time for me in your life, at least acknowledge that I exist. Is that so hard? Really?

I'm! So! Pissed! At everything! I don't even have the ability to get riled up though, this is so stupid. Maybe I just need someone to talk to about all of this that isn't insightful and tries to help. Someone who will just ..listen. Absorb. I need a sponge.

I think my dad is snoring louder to make me go downstairs. I think he should SHUT THE FUCK UP and go to BED.

I hate snoring. I can't fucking stand it. It's one of those noises, one of those fingernail-on-the-chalkboard things that drive me up the wall. There's not many that make me as angry as snoring does. I can't even handle it, I want to punch people who snore in the face if they're snoring beside me or around me, even. FUCK I CAN'T EVEN SIT HERE ANYMORE I'M GOING DOWNSTAIRS UGH