So kiss me, and smile for me..

I want to go home.

No, scratch that. I need to go home. I can't take this anymore, being away from my life, my soul, my home. I'm missing everyone and everything in Calgary too much. I need to go back.

For example, about twenty minutes ago, as I was listening to the radio to fall asleep, along comes Chantal Kreviazuk singing about departures on jet planes and the like. I couldn't control it, all of a sudden images of July flashed before my eyes: embracing Steve as we said our final farewell, Taryn and I's tearful goodbye, my Mom, a wreck at the airport. Facing each encounter with everyone I saw so delicately, not sure if I would ever see them again. Seeing Sydney last, our Starbucks trip, the picnic and all the emotions at the memorial, everything came crashing down on me like a tidal wave. Just as wet, too. I felt like I was drowning in a salty ocean of misery.

Simply put, I'm going to do whatever I can in my power to GO BACK HOME and stay there for good.

Whatever it takes.