BIIIIGsigh.

listening to: hot hot heat - fashion fight
mood: dejected, crushed, ugly.

I couldn't feel any more physically unattractive than I feel right now. Apparently it's fine to constantly talk about pretty girls to me, like I'm just 'one of the guys'. Sure I might be a good listener, but my self esteem is about the size of a pea right now. I'm obviously not one to come to for advice. I have no experience in this field. I'd like to have a conversation in which we DON'T talk about girls for once. News flash: I'm not fond of girls or talking about them. I'd rather not discuss them everytime you sign in. To the person who will read this and think it's about him: Don't assume it's about you, there's more than one boy who brings it up every day. I'm sick of this! I know I'm not gorgeous, I know I have nothing that boys want, I'm aware that I'm undesirable and it's come to my attention that I'm unwelcome in any 'more than friends' relationship. But must you all bring it up ever so often? Can't you leave me alone in my misery? Sure, I love to listen and I always want to help in any way I can, and sure, you are teenage boys with raging hormones, but that's no excuse. Find another boytoy to talk to and make sure to mention that I'm STILL single. On second thought, don't. I'm sure ridiculing and bouts of laughter would surface. Just nevermind I even brought it up.

Changing gears. I'm not as unique as I'm made out to be. There are abundant amounts of people who like the same music as I do, wear the same style of clothes as I do, eat the same things as I do, have the same ideas and dreams and ambitions as I do, sport the same hairdo as me, go to the same places that I do, have the same problems, share the same fears, and have many other similar qualities. Everybody's unique, what makes me any different?

love always, xo.